Bullying has become such a big issue over the last few years, but it
has been a psychologically damaging issue that has been around for many,
many decades. Your parents were probably bullied or knew someone who
was. Their parents were bullied or knew someone who was, and their
parents were bullied or knew someone who was. Not only that but many of
the grown-ups you are surrounded by could have been the bullies
themselves. Most of the time bullying is done intentionally but there
may be very few instances that bullying could occur accidentally. Take
for instance the most recent episode that happen at the elementary where
I work at. One of my kindergarteners overheard two fifth graders
calling each other names (awkward and silly) and laughing about it.
So
he decided to begin chanting the word "awkward" and pointing to one of
the girls'. One kindergartener turned to two then three and before we
knew it there was a circle of about ten kindergarteners chanting. That's
when we noticed what was going on but by that time we were too late. We
got the little ones to be quiet and we started asking questions. It
turns out that these little kids over-heard fifth graders calling each
other names. The girls were playing, being silly with each other and
between them the name calling was okay.
Once the girl started hearing it
from a group of kids that kept chanting regardless of the numerous
times they were asked to stop, it became uncomfortable. Her friends were
with her, yet, no one went to get help to get the little ones to stop.
Regardless of the age difference, (a kindergartener calling a fifth
grader awkward), at that point we can say, we can consider that
bullying. It made the fifth grader feel bad, uncomfortable and
embarrassed. However, it was unintentional. The kindergartener did not
know any better, but they know better now.
As kids we fail to
understand that sometimes we have no control on how we dress, how we
look, or how we eat. We tend to get bullied for being too short or being
too tall. For being too dark or being too light. People get made fun of
for being too skinny or overweight. Back in my day, people used to get
bullied for being too smart! Being called a nerd was insulting. Now it
looks like you get bullied if you are not that smart. You guys want to
fit the Nerd profile. Did you ever stop and think that, that
"overweight" person you make fun of may have a medical condition that
does not allow him/her to have a healthy weight? Do you ever stop and
think that, that person who dresses "out of fashion" may be having a
financial situation at home? Do you ever stop and think that, that
person that is extremely quiet, shy and to themselves maybe having a bad
situation at home?
They may be going through a parents' divorce, an
abuse, or any other unknown situation. The person who may have "weird"
skin may be having a medical condition that they cannot control and
there may not be medicine to help their condition. Is it fair for us to
punish one another because we don't understand or know each other
situations?
But let's take a look at why people may bully others.
If you've ever been talked about, if you've ever experienced any type of
belittling, think about that person that made you feel bad. What are
they lacking? What are they going through? Who is making them feel
powerless or fearful? Bullies are usually the people that have very
little to no self-esteem. Very little to no self-confidence so they must
do something to build themselves up. To make themselves feel better
than others.
They may be getting bullied somewhere else and the only way
they can let out is by doing it to others. Of course, there is no
reason that makes bullying right.
If we all worked on loving
ourselves bullying would happen less. The reason for this is because if
you can truly learn to love yourself and believe in yourself what others
would say to you wouldn't matter. And if you truly loved yourselves
there would be no need to make others feel bad to gain pleasure for
yourself.
Each day is a new start and each night be thankful for
another day. Remember that no matter how bad you think your day went,
there is someone else out there that would give anything for your life.
Remember that no matter how difficult you think your parents are being
they are there trying to do the best they can with what they have. As
parents, we do remember what it was like to be a teenager however, times
do change, and the more you talk to us the more we can help you and
guide you. We have the best intentions to give you a better life than
the one we had and you will want to do the same when you are older.
But
before you can give yourselves a better life you must focus in school to
get the most information possible. Having fun is great, but set goals
for yourselves. Visualize and imagine all the great things you would
want to be and create a plan to work towards it, fun will happen along
the way.